I was recently asked by an athlete, how do you cope with a DNF. It seems simple to me at first, just move on, it's part of racing. However the more I talked with this individual I realized it went deeper than just moving on.
Coming face to face with a DNF is like having your driving record tarnished with a ticket or misdemeanor of some kind. In fact having a DNF is nothing to be ashamed of. Many athletes have them for some reason or another, myself included. I remember when I thought a DNF was a bad thing. That people would not respect me if I did. I realized that if the friends I had judged me by that I needed new friends.
I recall reading Craig Alexanders book. He was my idol when I first got into the sport of triathlon. This guy had won KONA, multiple wins at 70.3 and full distances. This guy was a beast. After reading his book I realized he had more than 10 DNF's throughout his career. That in no way stopped him from being the athlete he was/is today and it probably helped shaped his career and they type of athlete he is. He was still at the top of his game, people all over the world still respected him and it caused me to not fear the DNF quit so much.
Here are a few tips that helped me get over my DNF.
#1. Part of racing - Unfortunately dnf's are part of racing. They can happen. It could be for health reasons. It could be mechanical issues ( as was my dnf) and anything in between. So don't over stress about something that is part of racing. Accept it if it happens, learn from it and move on.
#2. 6 Hour Rule - You have 6 hours to cry and have a pity party for yourself. After that, get up, dust yourself off, hold your head high and move on!
#3. Learning Opportunity - Failure is the way we learn. Getting beat down or not having things go perfect or the way we envisioned them going makes us stronger. Success is built off failure. You have to go through some tough times to understand how to mature as an athlete. Take the opportunity to debrief and figure out why it happened. What can I do next time in training and race day to prevent what happened. For me it was making sure my bike was in 100% working order before I stepped foot onto that course. For some it could be nutrition. Whatever was the cause it is a golden opportunity to make a weakness a strength and a way to make you a better overall athlete. You will appreciate the successes much more when you do!
#4. Acceptance - During my dnf I was angry and upset. I was upset at my stupid $5000 bike for not working. Was it the bikes fault. Hell no it was mind but that was the only thing around to be mad at. Then I became mad at myself. Then I begin to realized I was being a child. I tried everything to fix the bike on the course. I even had a mechanic try to fix it but it was still not working at 100%. I was mentally done and it became clear that today was not my day to race. I soon talked myself out of it and accepting it by saying. It's a beautiful day. I have athletes racing this course I can go cheer for and I have friends racing that I can go cheer for and have a good time. I accepted the day that was given to me, I learned from it and I moved on and it has made me both a better athlete and a better coach. Accept the tough days, accept what you have been given and make something of it. You can't control the outcome but you can control how you react to it and that goes a long way. Accepting tough days like this will make you better in the long run and give you peace.
-It's all about the journey!